Nonverbal communication is defined as communication that is produced by some means other than words (eye contact, body language, or vocal cues, for example).^[1] Over the past decade, Botox has been used to paralyze facial muscles for reducing the appearance of wrinkles. However, the unintended consequence of this practice is reduced facial expression! The frozen facial expression was recently celebrated by Shape.com, who interviewed a noted plastic surgeon about Hollywood’s most notable “frozen faces” (See Figure 5.1). The reality starlet pictured is only 40, but she is already a fan of Botox, “as you can tell by her taught forehead,” Dr. Youn says. “Some stars start treatment early, hoping to prevent wrinkles, but risk robbing their face of natural emotions in the process!”

Imagine the lack of a variety of emotional facial expressions if everyone’s face were frozen. The world would be a much less interesting place, and it would be more challenging to stimulate accurate meaning in the minds of others. Now, imagine actors such as Jim Carrey freezing their faces. His work would be much less meaningful and less powerful. Thus, we will begin this chapter by discussing the importance of nonverbal communication.

Importance of Nonverbal Communication in Interaction

Earlier in this book, we introduced the concept of “you cannot, not communicate.” The foundation of this idea is that even though we may not be sending verbal messages, we are continually sending nonverbal messages. As such, it’s very important to understand how nonverbal messages affect our daily interpersonal interactions. In this section, we will discuss the role that nonverbal communication plays in our daily lives and the six primary functions of nonverbal communication.

The Role of Nonverbal in Everyday Life

We communicate nonverbally constantly. It’s the primary way that we communicate with other people. Below, we will explore the role that nonverbal communication plays in our day-to-day lives.

Nonverbal has Communicative Value

The significance of nonverbal communication in any interaction cannot be overstated. In any interaction, Albert Mehrabian^[2] argues that the majority of meaning comes from nonverbal communication. We will discuss his theories in more detail later.  In this chapter, you will learn about the many types of nonverbal communication present in the interaction. For example, if you are having a conversation with your friend who just broke up with her girlfriend, you will use more than the words “I just broke up with my girlfriend” to understand how to communicate with your friend. Your friend’s facial expression, way of standing, rate of speech, tone of voice, and general appearance, to name a few, will indicate to you how you should respond. If she is sobbing, gasping for air, hunched over, and appears emotionally pained, you might attempt to comfort her. If she says, “I just broke up with my girlfriend” and sighs while placing her hand over her heart, she might appear relieved. Your response might be, “It seems like you may be a little relieved. Were things not going well?”

Thus, nonverbal communication plays a tremendous role in successfully engaging in interactions. The successful use of nonverbal communication requires an awareness of its value and a belief in its importance. When individuals are unaware of the importance of nonverbal communication, they may be overlooking crucial interactional information. For example, one author of this textbook was once met with a colleague who repeatedly sighed during a meeting. Later, when she and her colleague were discussing the meeting, he said, “Didn’t you notice I was sighing?” She told him that she had noticed he was sighing, but she was unsure why. We will discuss this further in the ambiguity of nonverbal communication. In this example, the author’s colleague was aware of the importance of nonverbal communication and attempted to use it deliberately.

Besides awareness, individuals must believe that nonverbal communication is valuable. If your parent/guardian ever said to you, “It wasn’t what you said, it was how you said it.” Your parent/guardian was demonstrating a belief that nonverbal communication is essential. An individual may acknowledge that nonverbal communication exists but may discount its value. For example, one of our coauthors had a recurring argument with their spouse, who would sigh or roll her eyes as a response in interactions. The author would ask the spouse what it meant, and the spouse would inevitably say, “I can sigh or roll my eyes without it meaning anything.” This is not an uncommon response, but the authors of this text hope to dispel this perception.

For a better understanding of the value of communication, Google “value of communication.” Your search will return over a billion links. While it is not possible to review all of the search results, read through a few of the articles. For this exercise, we found titles like “The Value of Effective Communication in the Workplace” and “Why Communication Is Today’s Most Important Skill.”^[3] In fact, we found almost 300,000 articles with the phrase “value of communication.” These news articles inform readers that effective communication secures customers, fosters bonds between employees, and boosts revenues.

Nonverbal Used for Relational Purposes

Nonverbal communication is a crucial element in forming relationships with others. Nonverbal communication is often the first way we initiate a relationship with another, or at the very least, establish initial contact. To communicate with another, we must make eye contact, with a few exceptions. Thus, relationships begin with nonverbal communication. Additionally, consider how humans interact with others through touch, scent, hand gestures, physical appearance, and other means.

Humans often use nonverbal communication to convey to others their interest in continuing or ending a conversation. For example, you may run into a colleague and strike up a spontaneous conversation in the hall. The conversation is enjoyable, and you each relate to the other in that you are enjoying conversing about work. Your colleague may recognize that he needs to get to a meeting and relate this information to you by looking at his watch, beginning to back away, or looking at the door he needs to enter.

Another way we relate to others through nonverbal communication is by conveying emotions. Through a myriad of nonverbal behaviors, we can communicate emotions such as joy, happiness, and sadness. The nonverbal expression of emotion allows others to know how to communicate with us.

Nonverbal is Ambiguous

A challenging aspect of nonverbal communication is that it is often ambiguous. In the 1970s, nonverbal communication was a trendy topic. Some thought we could use nonverbal communication to “read others like a book.” One coauthor remembers her cousin’s wife telling her that she shouldn’t cross her arms because it signaled to others that she was closed off. It would be wonderful if crossing one’s arms signaled one meaning, but think about the many meanings of crossing one’s arms. An individual may cross their arms because they are cold, upset, sad, or angry. It is impossible to know unless a conversation is paired with nonverbal behavior.

Another great example of ambiguous nonverbal behavior is flirting! Consider some very stereotypical behavior of flirting (e.g., smiling, laughing, a light touch on the arm, or prolonged eye contact). Each of these behaviors signals interest to others. The question is whether an individual engaging in these behaviors is showing romantic interest or a desire for platonic friendship. Have you ever walked away from a situation and explained a person’s behavior to another friend to determine whether you were being flirted with? If so, you have undoubtedly experienced the ambiguity of nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal is Culturally Based

Just as we have discussed that it is beneficial to recognize the value of nonverbal communication; we also acknowledge that nonverbal communication is culturally based. Successful interactions with individuals from other cultures are partially based on the ability to adapt to or understand the nonverbal behaviors associated with different cultures. There are two aspects to understanding that nonverbal communication is culturally based. The first aspect is recognizing that even if we do not know the appropriate nonverbal communication with someone from another culture, we must at least acknowledge that there is a need to be flexible, not react, and ask questions. The second aspect is recognizing that there are specific aspects of nonverbal communication that differ depending on the culture. When entering a new culture, we must learn the customs and norms of that culture.

When recognizing differences, you may encounter someone from a culture that communicates in a manner very different from your own, and perhaps unexpectedly. For example, one of the author’s brothers, Patrick, was working in Afghanistan as a contractor on a military base. He was working with a man from Africa. During their first conversation, he held Patrick’s hand. Patrick later told his sister, the author, this story and said he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he “just rolled with it.” Patrick’s response allowed for the most flexibility in the situation and the best chance of moving forward productively. Imagine if he had withdrawn his hand quickly with a surprised look on his face. The outcome of the interaction would have been very different.

Patrick’s response also exemplifies the second aspect of understanding that nonverbal communication is culturally based. Patrick was hired by a contractor to work on the military base in Afghanistan. The contracting firm could have trained Patrick and his coworkers about communicating with the various cultures they would encounter on the base. For example, many Filipinos were working on the base. It would have been helpful for the contractors to explain that there may be differences in spatial distance and touch when communicating with other males from the Philippines. Researching and understanding the nonverbal communication of different countries before entering the country can often mean a smoother entry phase, whether conducting business or simply visiting.

Attribution Error

A final area to address before examining specific aspects of nonverbal communication is “attribution error.” Attribution error is defined as the tendency to explain another individual’s behavior in relation to the individual’s internal tendencies rather than an external factor.^[4] For example, if a friend is late, we might attribute this failure to be on time as the friend being irresponsible rather than running through a list of external factors that may have influenced the friend’s ability to be on time, such as an emergency, traffic, reading the time wrong, etc. It is easy to make an error when trying to attribute meaning to the behaviors of others, and nonverbal communication is vulnerable to attribution error.

On Saturday, September 8, 2018, Serena Williams may have been a victim of an umpire’s attribution error by the judge. Let’s say Serena suffered because of attribution error. The judge spotted Serena Williams’ coach gesturing in the audience and assumed that the gesture was explicitly directed toward Serena to coach her. Her coach later acknowledged that he was “coaching” via nonverbal signals, but Serena was not looking at him, nor was she intended to be a recipient. Her coach indicated that all coaches gesture while sitting in the stands as though they are coaching a practice and that it’s a habit and not an other-oriented communication behavior. This is a perfect example of attribution error. The judge attributed the coach’s gesture to the coach’s intention to communicate, rather than the gesture being merely a habit. The judge’s attribution error may have cost Serena Williams’ comeback match. While the stakes may not be high in day-to-day interactions, attribution error can create relational strife and general misunderstandings that can be avoided if we recognize the need to understand the intention behind a specific nonverbal behavior.

Omnipresent

According to Dictionary.com, omnipresent indicates being everywhere at the same time. Nonverbal communication is always present. Silence is an excellent example of nonverbal communication being omnipresent. Have you ever given someone the “silent treatment?” If so, you understand that by remaining silent, you are trying to convey some meaning, such as “You hurt me” or “I’m really upset with you.” Thus, silence makes nonverbal communication omnipresent.

Another way to consider the omnipresence of nonverbal communication is to examine our body language, including posture, facial expressions, eye contact, lack of eye contact, and gestures. When sitting alone in the library working, your posture may communicate something to others. If you need to focus and don’t want to engage in conversation, you may keep your head down and avoid eye contact. Suppose you are walking across campus at a brisk pace. What might your pace be communicating?

When discussing the omnipresence of nonverbal communication, it is necessary to discuss Paul Watzlawick’s assertion that humans cannot, not communicate. This assertion is the first axiom of his interactional view of communication. According to Watzlawick, humans are constantly engaged in communication. As discussed in the “silent treatment” example and the posture and walking example, communication is found in everyday behaviors that are common to all humans. We might conclude that humans cannot escape communicating meaning.

Can Form a Universal Language

When discussing whether nonverbal communication is a universal language, caution is necessary. We must remember that understanding the context in which nonverbal communication is used is almost always necessary to understand the meaning of nonverbal communication. If you have ever been to another country, there might be times when you may not speak the same language, but through your nonverbal communication behaviors, then other person is able to interpret your message. However, there are exceptions concerning what Paul Ekman calls “basic emotions.” These will be discussed a bit later in the chapter.

Can Lead to Misunderstandings

Comedian Samuel J. Comroe has tremendous expertise in explaining how nonverbal communication can be misunderstood. Comroe’s comedic routines focus on how Tourette’s syndrome affects his daily life. Tourette’s syndrome can change individual behavior, from uncontrolled body movements to uncontrolled vocalizations. Comroe often appears to be winking when he is not. He explains how his “wink” can cause others to believe he is joking when he isn’t. He also tells the story of how he met his wife in high school. During a skit, he played a criminal and she played a police officer. She told him to “freeze,” and he continued to move (due to Tourette’s). She misunderstood his movement to mean he was being defiant and thus “took him down.” You can watch Comroe’s routine here.

Although nonverbal misunderstandings can be humorous, these misunderstandings can affect interpersonal as well as professional relationships. One of our coauthors went on an important job interview (didn’t get the job). She asked the interviewer for feedback, and he said, “Your answers sounded canned.” The author did not think to do so in the moment, but what she should have said is that she may have sounded canned because she frequently thinks about work, her work philosophy, and how she approaches work. Thus, her tone may have been more indicative of simply knowing how she feels rather than “canned.”

As you continue to learn about nonverbal communication, consider how you come to understand nonverbal communication in interactions. Sometimes, the meaning of nonverbal communication can be fairly obvious. Most of the time, a head nod in conversation means something positive, such as agreement, “yes,” or “keep talking,” etc. At other times, the meaning of nonverbal communication isn’t clear. Have you ever asked a friend, “Did she sound rude to you?” about a customer service representative? If so, you are familiar with the ambiguity of nonverbal communication.

Usually Trusted

Despite the pitfalls of nonverbal communication, individuals often rely on it to understand the meaning in interactions. Communication scholars agree that most meaning in any interaction is attributable to nonverbal communication. It isn’t true, but we are taught from a very early age that a lack of eye contact indicates lying. We have learned through research that this “myth” is not true; it tells a story about how our culture perceives nonverbal communication. That view is simply that nonverbal communication is important and that it has meaning.

Another excellent example of nonverbal communication being trusted may be related to a scenario many have experienced. Children, adolescents, and teenagers will be required by their parents/guardians to say, “I’m sorry” to a sibling or the parent/guardian. Alternatively, you may have said “yes” to your parents/guardians, but your parents/guardians don’t believe you. A parent/guardian might say in either of these scenarios, “It wasn’t what you said; it was how you said it.” Thus, we find yet another example of nonverbal communication being the “go-to” for meaning in an interaction.

According to research, as much as 93% of the meaning in any interaction is because of nonverbal communication. Albert Mehrabian asserts that 93% of meaning can be broken into three parts (Figure 5.2).^[5]

Mehrabian’s work is widely reported and accepted. Other researchers have noted that the meaning attributed to nonverbal communication in interactions ranges from 60 to 70%.^{[6] [7]} Regardless of the actual percentage, most meaning in interaction is deduced from nonverbal communication. However, this does not mean that meaning is completely separate from verbal communication. People use a combination of both when ascertaining meaning.

The Six Functions of Nonverbal Communication

As we have established, nonverbal communication plays a crucial role in effective communication. Because nonverbal communication plays a significant role in interactions, it was heavily studied in the early days of communication research. These studies resulted in the discovery of multiple utilitarian functions of nonverbal communication (Figure 5.3)

Complementing

Complementing is defined as nonverbal behavior used in conjunction with the verbal portion of the message to enhance the overall meaning. An excellent example of complementing behavior is when a child is exclaiming, “I’m so excited” while jumping up and down. The child’s body further emphasizes the meaning of “I’m so excited.”

Contradicting

An individual’s nonverbal communication may contradict their verbal communication. Recently, when visiting an aunt’s house, one of the author’s folded her arms. She asked the author if she was cold and if she needed to turn up the air conditioning. The author said no because she was trying to be polite, but her aunt did not believe her. The author’s nonverbal communication gave away her actual discomfort! Here, the nonverbal communication was truly more meaningful than verbal communication.

Consider a situation where a friend says, “The concert was amazing,” but the friend’s voice is monotone. A response might be, “Oh, you sound really enthused.” Communication scholars refer to this as “contradicting” verbal and nonverbal behavior. When contradicting occurs, the verbal and nonverbal messages are incongruent. This incongruence heightens our awareness, and we tend to believe the nonverbal communication over verbal communication.

Accenting

Accenting is a form of nonverbal communication that emphasizes a word or a part of a message. The word or part of the message accented might change the meaning of the message. Accenting can be accomplished through multiple types of nonverbal behavior. Gestures paired with a word can provide emphasis, such as when an individual says, “No (slams hand on table), you don’t understand me.” By slamming the hand on a table while saying “no,” the source draws attention to the word. Words or phrases can also be emphasized via pauses. Speakers will often pause before saying something important. Your professors likely pause just before relaying information that is important to the course content.

Repeating

Nonverbal communication that reinforces the meaning of verbal communication helps the receiver by confirming the sender’s words. Nonverbal communication that repeats verbal communication may stand alone, but when paired with verbal communication, it serves to repeat the message. For example, nodding one’s head while saying “yes” serves to reinforce the meaning of the word “yes,” and the word “yes” reinforces the head nod.

Regulating

Regulating the flow of communication is often accomplished through nonverbal communication. Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen state that regulators are “acts which maintain and regulate the back-and-forth nature of speaking and listening between two or more interactions.”^[8] You may notice your friends nodding their heads when you are speaking. Nodding one’s head is a primary means of regulating communication. Other behaviors that regulate conversational flow are eye contact, moving or leaning forward, changing posture, and eyebrow raises, to name a few. You may also have noticed several nonverbal behaviors people engage in when trying to exit a conversation. These behaviors include stepping away from the speaker, checking one’s watch/phone for the time, or packing up belongings. These are referred to as leave-taking behaviors. Without the regulating function of nonverbal behaviors, it would be necessary to interrupt conversational content to insert phrases such as “I have to leave.” However, when interactants fail to recognize regulating behavior, verbal communication will be used instead.

Substituting

Nonverbal behavior can serve as a substitute for verbal communication altogether. Substituting nonverbal behavior must be understood within a context more often than not. For example, a friend may ask you what time it is, and you may shrug your shoulders to indicate you don’t know. At other times, your friend may ask whether you want pizza or sushi for dinner, and you may shrug your shoulders to show you don’t care or have no preference.

Emblems are a specific type of substituting nonverbal behavior that has a direct verbal translation. Emblems may be understood outside of the context in which they are used. Some highly recognizable emblems in the United States are the peace sign and the “okay” sign. Emblems are an understood concept and have made their way into popular culture. The term “emblem” may not be applied within popular culture. In the popular television show, Friends, the main characters Ross and Monica are siblings. Ross and Monica are forbidden to “flip the bird” to each other, so they make up their own “emblem,” which involves holding one’s palms upward in a fist and bumping the outsides of the palms together. Whether flipping the bird in the traditional manner or doing so Ross and Monica style, each of these represents an emblem that does not require context for accurate interpretation. Emblems will be discussed in greater depth later in the chapter.

Categories of Nonverbal Communication

Besides the functions of nonverbal communication, there are categories of nonverbal communication. This chapter will address several categories of nonverbal communication that are particularly important in interpersonal relationships. These categories include haptics (touch), vocalics (voice), kinesics (body movement and gestures), oculesics/facial expressions (eye and face behavior), and physical appearance. Each of these categories influences interpersonal communication and can impact the success of interpersonal interactions.

Haptics

Haptics is the study of touch as a form of nonverbal communication. Touch is used in our daily lives for various purposes, including greeting, comfort, affection, task accomplishment, and control. You may have engaged in one or more of these behaviors today. If you shook hands with someone, hugged a friend, or kissed your romantic partner, then you used touch to greet and give affection. If you visited a salon to have your hair cut, then you were touched with the purpose of accomplishing a task. You may have encountered a friend who was upset and patted the friend to ease the pain and provide comfort. Finally, you may recall your parents or guardians putting an arm around your shoulder to help you walk faster if there was a need to hurry you along. Here, your parent/guardian was using touch for control.

Several factors impact how touch is perceived. These factors are duration, frequency, and intensity. Duration is how long the touch endures. Frequency refers to the rate of touch, and intensity represents the degree of pressure applied. These factors influence how individuals are evaluated in social interactions. For example, researchers state, “a handshake preceding social interactions positively influenced the way individuals evaluated the social interaction partners and their interest in further interactions while reversing the impact of negative impressions.”^[9] This research demonstrates that individuals must understand when it is appropriate to shake hands and that there are negative consequences for failing to do so. Importantly, an appropriately timed handshake can erase the negative effects of any mistakes one might make in an initial interaction!

Touch is a form of communication that can initiate, regulate, and maintain relationships. It is a powerful form of communication that can convey messages ranging from comfort to power. Duration, frequency, and intensity of touch can convey liking, attraction, or dominance. Touch can be both helpful and harmful, and it must be used appropriately to foster effective relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. Consider that inappropriate touch can convey romantic intentions where no romance exists. Conversely, fear can be instilled through touch. Touch is a powerful interpersonal tool along with voice and body movement.

It’s also essential to understand the importance of touch on someone’s psychological well-being. Narissra Punyanunt-Carter and Jason Wrench developed the Touch Deprivation Scale to investigate the impact of a lack of haptic communication on an individual’s life.^[10]

As you can see, Punyanunt-Carter and Wrench found that there are three different factors related to touch deprivation: the absence of touch, longing for touch, and sexual intimacy for touch. First, the absence of touch is the degree to which an individual perceives that touch is not a normal part of their day-to-day interactions. Many people can go days or even weeks without physically having contact with another person. People may surround them on a day-to-day basis at work, but this doesn’t mean they can engage in physical contact with others.

Second, there is the longing for touch. It’s one thing to realize that touch is not a normal part of your day-to-day interactions, but it’s something completely different not to have that touch and desire that touch. For some people, the lack of touch can be psychologically straining because humans inherently have a desire for physical contact. For some people, this lack of physical contact with other humans can be satisfied by having a pet.

Last, some people desire touch so much that they’ll engage in sexual activity just to get touched by another human being. Obviously, these types of situations can be risky because they involve sexual contact outside of an intimate relationship. In fact, “hooking up” can be detrimental to someone’s psychological well-being.^[11]

In the Punyanunt-Carter and Wrench study, the researchers found that there was a positive relationship between touch deprivation and depression and a negative relationship between touch deprivation and self-esteem. The study also found that those individuals who felt that they did not receive enough touch growing up (tactile nurturance) also reported higher levels of touch deprivation as adults. This is further evidence of the importance of touch for children and adolescents.

Vocalics

In this section, we will discuss vocalics—the study of how vocal qualities, such as timbre, tempo, intensity, and other vocal features, affect communication. Our discussion will begin with vocal characteristics, including timbre, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and intensity.

Timbre

According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, timbre refers to the “quality given to a sound by its overtones: such as the resonance by which the ear recognizes and identifies a voiced speech sound” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/timbre). Pitch refers to the frequency range between the high and low notes. Pitch is not thought of much unless an individual’s pitch stands out. For example, if a female’s vocal pitch is low, the meaning might be assigned to the low pitch, just as meaning might be attached to a male voice with a high pitch. Also, pitch that is at a higher or lower end of a range will be noticed if there is a momentary or situational change to an individual’s pitch that will trigger an assignment of meaning. For example, when children become excited or scared, they may be described as “squealing.” The situation will determine whether squealing children are perceived as excited or scared.

Tempo

Tempo refers to the rate at which one speaks. Changes in tempo can reflect emotions such as excitement or anger, physical well-being, or energy level. One of the author’s aunts is a brittle diabetic. When talking to her aunt, the author can detect whether the aunt’s blood sugar is too low if the aunt is speaking extremely slowly. Rhythm refers to the pattern used when speaking. Unusual speaking rhythms are often imitated. Consider the speaking rhythm of a “surfer dude” or a “valley girl.” One of the most well-known forms of rhythm used in a speech was Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. More recently, the speaking rhythms of Presidents Biden and Trump are easily identifiable and often imitated by comedians.

Intensity

Finally, intensity refers to how loudly or softly an individual speaks. Intensity can be tied to emotion. When individuals speak loudly, the increased volume may convey anger, emotional distress, happiness, or heightened excitement. When individuals speak at a lower volume, it may be an effort to diffuse an emotionally intense conversation. Lower volume could also result from sharing bad news, discussing taboo or sensitive topics (i.e., when people whisper “sex” or “she died”), or conveying private information.

Other Vocal Features

Paralanguage

Paralanguage is another term for vocalics and refers to “extra-linguistic” features involved in speaking, such as the characteristics of speech just discussed, pauses and silences, and nonverbal vocalizations.

Pauses and Silences

Pauses and silences are essential components of creating meaning during an interaction. Pauses draw attention to important parts of messages. The “pregnant pause” is an extra-long pause that precedes weighty information. Pauses are a type of silence that is brief, but prolonged silence, such as minutes, hours, or even days, can convey meaning as well. Consider a conversation in which the other person does not respond to you. What meaning is conveyed? Is the individual thinking? Is the individual hurt, angry, or too shocked to speak? The myriad meanings of silence help emphasize its significance, showing that it is as impactful as verbal communication, if not more so.

Silence is so significant that it is often used in film as a significant effect in forming narratives or in creating characters. It can also be used to create moments. Consider strong characters in films who are relatively silent. Consider how silence or pause  is used to build suspense. Pauses and silence are powerful communication tools. Consider the damaging effects of the “silent treatment” in interpersonal relationships and the psychological effects of the “silent treatment’ on a child whose parent won’t speak to them. Silence cannot be overlooked.

Disfluencies, Vocal Fillers, or Verbal Surrogates

Disfluencies, vocal fillers, or verbal surrogates are sounds we make as we attempt to fill dead air while we are thinking of what to say next. In the United States, “um” or “uh” are the most commonly used disfluencies. In conversation, these disfluencies may pass unnoticed by both the sender and the receiver, but consider how the recognition of disfluencies increases when listening to a speaker who frequently uses phrases like “uh” or “um” during a speech. When giving a presentation, the speaker may even draw attention to disfluencies by mentioning them directly, and audience members may become distracted by these disfluencies. One of the author’s classmates used to count the number of “ums” used by a particular professor who frequently used “um” when teaching. Though focusing on disfluencies may be common, it is best for the speaker to reduce an excessive amount of disfluencies and for listeners to focus on the meaning rather than the “ums” and “uhs.”

Kinesics

Kinesics, first coined by Ray Birdwhistell, is the study of how gestures, facial expressions, and eye behavior communicate. Gestures can be considered any visible movement of the body. These movements “stimulate meaning” in the minds of others.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions are another form of kinesics. Paul Eckman and Wallace V. Friesen asserted that facial expressions are likely to communicate “affect” or liking.^[17] Eckman and Freisen present six emotions that are recognized throughout the world. These emotions are often referred to by the acronym S.A.D.F.I.S.H. and include surprise, anger, disgust, fear, interest, sadness, and happiness (Figure 5.4). Facial expressions are particularly effective in conveying emotions. Although not all facial expression is “universally” recognized, people are generally able to interpret facial expressions within a context. We generally consider happiness is indicated by a smile. Smiling, however, might also communicate politeness, a desire to be pleasing, and even fear. If an individual attempts to use a smile to diffuse a volatile interaction where they fear being verbally or physically attacked, then the smile may be an indication of fear. In this case, the smile cannot be accurately interpreted outside of the context.

In a study investigating preferences for facial expressions in relation to the Big Five personality traits, it was found that most participants showed the strongest preferences for faces communicating high levels of agreeableness and extraversion. Individuals who are high in openness prefer a display of all facially communicated Big Five personality traits. In relation to females who report being highly neurotic, they preferred male faces displaying agreeableness and female faces communicating disagreeableness. Male faces communicating openness were preferred by males who were higher in neuroticism. Interestingly, males reporting higher levels of neuroticism had a lower preference for female faces communicating openness.^[18] This study underscores the importance of facial expressions in determining who we prefer.

Oculesics

Oculesics is the study of how individuals communicate through eye behavior. Eye contact is generally the first form of communication for interactants. Consider what it’s like when a stranger speaks to you in a grocery store from behind, with a question such as, “Can you reach the Frosted Flakes for me?” When a general question, such as this, is asked with no eye contact, you may not be aware that the question was intended for you.

Often, when discussing eye behavior, researchers refer to “gaze.” Research consistently demonstrates that females gaze at interaction partners more frequently than males.^{[19] [20] [21]} Also, gaze has been studied concerning deception. Early research determined the significance of eye contact in the interpretation behavior. When people gaze too long or for too little, there is likely to be a negative interpretation of this behavior.^[22] However, later researchers acknowledge that there is a much greater range of acceptable “gazing” as influenced by verbal communication.

Gestures

Kinesics serve multiple functions when communicating, such as emblems, illustrators, affect displays, and regulators.

Emblems

Many gestures are emblems. You may recall from earlier in the chapter that gestures are clear and unambiguous and have a verbal equivalent in a given culture.^[23] Only a handful of emblematic gestures seem to be universal, for example, a shrug of the shoulders to indicate “I don’t know.” Most emblems are culturally determined, and using them in other countries can lead to difficulty. In the United States, some emblematic gestures include the thumb-up-and-out hitchhiking sign, the “Ok” sign made with a circled thumb and index finger, and the “V” for victory sign. However, be careful of using these gestures outside the United States. The thumb-up sign in Iran, for example, is an obscene gesture, and our OK sign has sexual connotations in Ethiopia and Mexico.^[24]

Illustrators

While emblems can be used as direct substitutions for words, illustrators help emphasize or explain a word. Recall the Smashmouth lyric in All Star: “She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.” The “L” gesture is often used to illustrate “loser.”

Affect Displays

Affect displays show feelings and emotions. Consider how music and sports fans show enthusiasm. It is not uncommon to see grown men and women jumping up and down at sports events during a particularly exciting moment in a game. However, there are different norms depending on the sport. It would simply be inappropriate to demonstrate the same nonverbal gestures at a golf or tennis game as at a football game.

Regulators

Regulators, as discussed earlier, are gestures that help coordinate the flow of conversation, such as when you shrug your shoulders or wink. Head nods, eye contact/aversion, hand movements, and changes in posture are considered to be turn-taking cues in conversation. Individuals may sit back when listening but shift forward to indicate a desire to speak. Eye contact shifts frequently during a conversation to show listening or a desire to speak. Head nods are used as a sign of listening and often indicate that the speaker should continue speaking.

Proxemics

Proxemics is the study of communication through space. Space as communication was heavily studied by Edward T. Hall,^[25] and he famously categorized space into four “distances. These distances represent how space is used and by whom (Figure 5.5).

Hall’s first distance is referred to as intimate space and is often referred to as our “personal bubble.” This bubble ranges from 0 to 18 inches from the body. This space is reserved for those with whom we have close personal relationships.

The next distance is referred to as personal space and ranges from 18 inches to 4 feet. You notice that as the distances move further away from the body, the intimacy of interactions decreases. Personal space is used for conversations with friends or family. If you meet a friend at the local coffee shop to catch up on life, you will probably sit between 18 inches and four feet from your friend.

The next distance is “social” distance, ranging from 4 feet to 12 feet. This space is meant for acquaintances.

Finally, the greatest distance is referred to as “public” distance, ranging from 12 feet to 25 feet. In an uncrowded public space, we would not likely approach a stranger any closer than 12 feet. Consider an empty movie theatre. If you enter a theatre with only one other customer, you will not likely sit in the seat directly behind, beside, or in front of this individual. Probably you would sit farther than 12 feet from this individual. However, as the theatre fills, individuals will be forced to sit in Hall’s distances that represent more intimate relationships. How awkward do you feel if you have to sit directly next to a stranger in a theatre?

Artifacts

Artifacts are items with which we adorn our bodies or which we carry with us. Artifacts include glasses, jewelry, canes, shoes, clothing, or any object associated with our body that communicates meaning. One very famous artifact that most everyone can recognize is the glasses of Harry Potter. Harry Potter’s style of glasses has taken on its own meaning. What does his style of eyewear communicate when donned by others? Clothing also stimulates meaning. Do you recall Barney Stinson’s famous line “suit up” in How I Met Your Mother? Why was it necessary to suit up? Recently, Snoop Dogg was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Snoop Dogg was wearing a beautiful, classic camel-hair overcoat. In contrast, he was wearing large, bulky jewelry. What do these two types of artifacts communicate? One of the authors is a big fan. The author interpreted the classic overcoat as Snoop having excellent taste, and the jewelry as strength and wealth. Together, the artifacts were interpreted as power.

Chronemics

Chronemics, as explained by Thomas J. Bruneau,^[26] is the use of time to communicate. Time usage is considered culturally bound, with some cultures employing monochronic time and others using polychronic time. Cultures using monochronic time engage in one task at a time. Cultures using polychronic time engage in multiple tasks at the same time. This use of time involves fluidity with individuals feeling free to work on multiple tasks simultaneously rather than completing a task before moving to the next task, as in the monochronic use of time. When considering how time is used, it is essential to consider both individual and cultural preferences. Traditionally, the United States is a monochronic culture, along with Canada or Northern Europe. Korea is an example of a polychronic culture along with Latin America, the Arab part of the Middle East, and Sub-Saharan Africa. However, one can live in each of these cultures and express an orientation toward time that is opposite to the one typically associated with it. One of the authors is admittedly anxious about time. She is highly monochronic. The author attended a conference in Puerto Rico, which represents a polychronic orientation toward time. Buses usually run 30 minutes late, if not longer. Time is more fluid and less incremental in polychronic cultures. Unfortunately, the author failed to take this into account and nearly missed a presentation. This resulted in stress that could have been avoided had she paid more attention to the time orientation of those around her.

Olfactics

Finally, olfactics generally refers to the influence of scent on perceptions. Scent can draw others in or repel them, and the same scent can have different impacts on different people. According to Statista.com, the global estimated sales value of fragrances worldwide in 2016 was $47 billion. This is in addition to $39 billion in shower and bath products and another $20.5 billion in deodorants. The total spending in these categories was $106.5 billion U.S. dollars. These figures underscore the importance of “smelling good” worldwide. Consider the impact of failing to manage one’s natural scent in the workplace. Countless articles in the popular media address how to deal with a “smelly coworker.” Thus, it is crucial to be aware of one’s scent, including the ones we wear in an effort not to offend those around us. Although smelling “bad” may end a relationship or at least create distance, an attractive scent may help individuals begin a new relationship. Have you ever purchased a new scent before a first date? If so, you are aware of the power of scent to attract a mate. Although we regularly try to cover our scent, we also attempt to control the scent of our environments. The air freshener market in 2016 was valued at $1.62 billion. Visit your local grocery store and examine the variety of products available to enhance environmental scents. Be prepared to spend a significant amount of time taking in the many products to keep our environments “fresh.”^[27]

The amount of money spent on fragrances for the body and home highlights the meaning of scent to humans. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What meaning do you associate with a floral scent vs. a spicy scent?
2. When comparing men’s fragrances to women’s fragrances, what differences do you notice?
3. Are there scents that immediately transport you back in time, such as the smell of honeysuckle or freshly baked cookies?

Regardless of the scent you prefer, when using scent to communicate positively with others, do not make the mistake of believing the scent you like is loved by those around you!

Physical Appearance

Although not one of the traditional categories of nonverbal communication, we should discuss physical appearance as a form of nonverbal message. Whether we like it or not, our physical appearance affects how people perceive and relate to us. Someone’s physical appearance is often one of the first reasons people decide to interact with each other.

Dany Ivy and Sean Wahl argue that physical appearance is a very important factor in nonverbal communication:

The connection between physical appearance and nonverbal communication needs to be made for two important reasons: (1) The decisions we make to maintain or alter our physical appearance reveal a great deal about who we are, and (2) the physical appearance of other people impacts our perception of them, how we communicate with them, how approachable they are, how attractive or unattractive they are, and so on.^[28]

In fact, people ascribe various meanings based on their perceptions of how we physically appear to them. Everything from your height, skin tone, smile, weight, and hair (color, style, lack of, etc.) can communicate meanings to other people. To begin our discussion, we will examine the three somatotypes.

Somatotypes

In the 1940s, psychologist and physician William Herbert Sheldon introduced the idea of somatotypes.^[29] In Sheldon’s theory, there were three overarching body types: the ectomorph, the endomorph, and the mesomorph. To determine where you likely fit within Sheldon’s theory, complete the Somatotyping Scale.

Now, the Somatotyping Scale is based on the general traits that the three different somatotypes possess. Most people are more familiar with their physical looks (Figure 5.6).

Now, you may wonder to yourself, where did these three terms come from in the first place? Well, Sheldon created these terms from the three germ layers (three primary cell layers) of embryonic development:

• Endoderm (inner layer)–develops into the gastrointestinal tract
• Mesoderm (middle layer)–develops into the cardiovascular and muscular systems
• Ectoderm (outer layer)–develops into the skin and the nervous system

In Sheldon’s original theory, the different somatotypes also possessed unique personality traits. Table 5.1 contains the Somatotype Perception Scale. Take a second to complete the measure.

The Somatotype Perception Scale is, in fact, a set of stereotypes that some people have associated with the three different body types.^[30] However, the media often still portrays these stereotypes on television and in movies. As such, many people still hold these stereotypes.

Physical Appearance and Society

Unfortunately, someone’s physical appearance has been shown to affect their lives in several ways:

• Physically attractive students are viewed as more popular by their peers.
• Physically attractive people are seen as smarter.
• Physically attractive job applicants are more likely to get hired.
• Physically attractive people make more money.
• Physically attractive journalists are seen as more likable and credible.
• Physically attractive defendants in a court case were less likely to be convicted, and if they were convicted, the juries recommended less harsh sentences.
• Taller people are perceived as more credible.
• People who are overweight are less likely to get job interviews or promotions.

Now, this list is far from perfect and doesn’t account for every scenario. There are some differences between females and males in how they perceive attraction and how they are influenced by attraction. Moreover, culture can play a large part in how physical attractiveness impacts people’s perceptions. For example, the classic example of how culture determines what is considered physically attractive stems from the paintings of Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640), who is famous for his use of full-figured women as a depiction of physical ideals (see Figure 5.7).

In the United States today, most females and males who are portrayed in leading roles fall into the mesomorphic somatotype. There are examples of ectomorphic and endomorphic leading players, but the majority of people on television shows and in films are typically portrayed by those who are mesomorphic. In fact, these trends are seen in all of our major media in the United States (e.g., news, magazines, comic books, live theatre, etc.).

Body Positivity

There are groups in the United States that are attempting to help break down these walls within our society. For example, over the past few years, a movement known as body positivity has emerged. In reality, the idea of body positivity isn’t that new. In 1996, Connie Sobczak and Elizabeth Scott founded The Body Positive. In her 2014 book, embody: Learning to Love Your Unique Body (And Quiet that Critical Voice), Connie Sobczak defined body positive as “a way of living that gives you permission to love, care for, and take pleasure in your body throughout your lifespan. Struggles will inevitably occur, especially during times of transition or imbalance.”^[31] Sobczak goes on to note that practicing body positivity “allows you to find what you need to live with as much self-love and balanced self-care as possible. Experiences of conflict and suffering become opportunities to learn what is required to further your growth so you can find greater contentment and peace.”^[32] The Body Positive has created a basic model for body positivity that consists of five basic competencies: reclaim health, practice intuitive self-care, cultivate self-love, declare your authentic beauty, and build community (Figure 5.8).

Reclaim Health

The first competency of the Be Body Positive Model is reclaiming one’s health. For too long, the health care industry has consistently used someone’s body mass index as an indication of a person’s physical health. However, there is ample research that “measurements of physical activity and metabolic fitness, such as blood pressure, blood lipids, and blood sugar levels, are far better indicators of physical health than body size.”^[33] As such, reclaiming one’s health is realizing that the weight loss and diet industry is a profit-making machine that isn’t very effective. The weight loss and diet industry is estimated to be worth $245.51 billion by 2022.^[34] People spend a ton of money here even though the long-term effects of dieting are abysmal, with most people gaining back the weight they lost and adding some.^{[35] [36]}

Now, this is not to say that people who are unhealthy should relish their ill-health. Instead, body positivity is about understanding that health isn’t a number. One number that is often used to declare someone’s “health” is their body mass index. You can calculate your own BMI using this calculator from the National Institutes of Health. Here are the general categories associated with explaining someone’s BMI:

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
• Overweight = 25–29.9
• Obesity = 30-39
• Morbid Obesity = 40+

In reality, BMI doesn’t distinguish between fat and muscle, so many elite bodybuilders have BMIs that say they’re obese when they have little to no body fat. It’s even possible to have metabolically healthy obesity. According to Patrick J. Skerrett, Former Executive Editor of Harvard Health, metabolically healthy obesity includes the following factors:

• a waist size of no more than 40 inches for a man or 35 inches for a woman
• normal blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar
• normal sensitivity to insulin
• good physical fitness^[38]

As such, the focus of reclaiming health isn’t about a number on a scale, but about being healthy. Unfortunately, many people still have the stereotype in society associating fatness with sickness, which modern medicine knows isn’t the case.

Practice Intuitive Self-Care

Intuitive care is learning to trust our bodies regarding both eating and exercise. It’s about being attuned to our bodies and realizing what they need. It’s not about limiting yourself to 800 calories a day or exercising for nine hours every day. Instead, it’s about learning to listen to our bodies mindfully. Intuitive self-care realizes that our bodies need food and exercise, so we need to listen to them and provide them what they need. At the same time, intuitive self-care recognizes that this will look different for everyone. There is no perfect diet or exercise routine that will be beneficial for everyone. Some people experience a “runner’s high,” while others never feel that euphoric sensation runners often discuss. Other people can easily pack on muscle, while others can spend hours in the gym and still not see the type of growth they desire. Essentially, our bodies are unique and have inherent limitations on what they can accomplish. When people have unrealistic expectations for what their body can (and should) look like and what their body can achieve, they are considered to have body dysmorphia. Before progressing further, take a moment and complete The Body Dysmorphia Short Form.

Cultivate Self-Love

As we’ve discussed with mindfulness throughout this text, one of the problems many people face is an overly critical brain that seems to run nonstop. Cultivating self-love is about learning to make life-affirming choices and not listening to the nonstop vulture sitting on our shoulders. Many of the practices we’ve discussed in relation to mindfulness align with the idea of cultivating self-love.

Declare Your Authentic Beauty

Everyone is beautiful. Yet, we live in a society that places premium on certain types of physical attributes that get labeled “physically attractive” or “beautiful.” Declaring your authentic beauty is about:

choosing to see and express ourselves just as we are—internal and external qualities combined. Exploring beauty through a body positive lens teaches us to have a dynamic, engaged relationship with the world around us. We honor our bodies as we pass through each developmental stage of life, which leads to true self-care because we don’t confuse it with a desire to transform our physical selves to meet someone else’s definition of beauty.^[40]

Now, we do not deny that we are bombarded by messages in our society that dictate beauty standards, and it’s hard to avoid these images and not let them affect how we evaluate our physical appearance. Learning to declare your authentic beauty is a process and not a process that’s going to happen overnight. Instead, it’s essential to identify and label those vulture statements when we encounter them. The more we recognize these vulture statements, the easier it will be to acknowledge our beauty.

Build Community

The last competency in the Be Body Positive Model is building a community of like-minded people who seek to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Many colleges and universities even have Be Body Positive groups on campus to help support one another as we all learn to be more body positive.

The Matching Hypothesis

One obvious area where physical appearance plays a huge part in our day-to-day lives is in our romantic relationships. Elaine Walster and her colleagues coined the “matching hypothesis” back in the 1960s.^{[41] [42]} The basic premise of the matching hypothesis is that the idea of “opposites attracting” really doesn’t pertain to physical attraction. When all else is equal, people are more likely to find themselves in romantic relationships with people who are perceived as similarly physically attractive.

In a classic study conducted by Shepherd and Ellis, the researchers took pictures of married couples and mixed up the images of the husbands and wives.^{[43] [44]} Researchers then had groups of female and male college students sort the images based on physical attraction. Not surprisingly, a positive relationship was found between the physical attractiveness of the husbands and that of the wives.

Other physical appearance variables beyond basic physical attractiveness have also been examined in relation to the matching hypothesis. A group of researchers led by Julie Carmalt found that matching also explained the dating habits of young people. In their study, Carmalt et al. found that individuals who were overweight were less likely to date someone physically attractive.^[45]

Overall, research supports the matching hypothesis; however, physical attractiveness is not the only variable that can influence romantic partners (e.g., socioeconomic status, education, career prospects, etc.). However, the matching hypothesis is a factor that affects many people’s ultimate ability to make a good dating selection.

Improving your Nonverbal Skills

In this chapter, we’ve examined a wide range of issues related to nonverbal communication. But it’s one thing to understand nonverbal communication and something completely different to communicate using nonverbal behaviors effectively. In this section, we’re going to explore some ways that you can start to improve your nonverbal skills.

The Nonverbal Mindset

When it comes to effective communication, you need to develop an appropriate mindset toward nonverbal communication. First, individuals must be aware that nonverbal communication plays a significant role in creating meaning.

Second, individuals must believe nonverbal communication is important and impactful. Being aware of nonverbal communication without recognizing its importance can lead to negative outcomes. For example, students in nonverbal communication begin to learn about the importance of clothing and general appearance in creating a positive impression. Some students “rebel” against the idea that appearance and clothing matter, stating, “people should accept me no matter what I am wearing.” While this would be ideal, the fact of the matter is that humans size up other humans using visual cues in initial interactions.

Lastly, individuals can analyze their nonverbal communication. This can be accomplished in several ways. Individuals might observe the behavior of individuals who seem to be liked by others and to whom others are socially attracted. The individual should then compare the behaviors of the “popular” person to their behaviors. What differences exist? Does the other individual smile more, make more or less eye contact, engage in more or less touch, etc.? Based on this comparison, individuals can devise a plan for improvement or perhaps no improvement is needed!

Nonverbal Immediacy

Besides awareness of nonverbal communication, believing that nonverbal communication is important and analyzing one’s behavior, individuals should be aware of nonverbal immediacy. Immediacy is defined as physical and psychological closeness. More specifically, Mehrabian defines immediacy as behaviors increasing the sensory stimulation between individuals.^[47] Immediacy behaviors include being physically oriented toward another, eye contact, some touch, gesturing, vocal variety, and talking louder. Immediacy behaviors are known to have a significant impact in various contexts.

In instructional, organizational, and social contexts, research has revealed powerful positive impacts because of immediacy behaviors, including influence and compliance, liking, relationship satisfaction, job satisfaction, and learning, etc. In the health care setting, the positive outcomes of nonverbally immediate interaction are well documented: patient satisfaction,^{[48] [49]} understanding of medical information,^{[50] [51]} patient perceptions of provider credibility,^[52] patient perceptions of confidentiality,^[53] parent recall of medical directives given by pediatricians and associated cognitive learning,^[54] affect for the provider,^{[55] [56]} and decreased apprehension when communicating with a physician.^[57] Individuals can increase their immediacy behaviors through practice!

Chapter Wrap-Up

In this chapter, we discussed the importance of nonverbal communication. To be an effective nonverbal communicator, it is essential to recognize that nonverbal communication conveys a significant amount of information. However, the meaning of nonverbal communication most often must be understood within the context of the interaction. There are very few nonverbal behaviors that can be understood outside of context.

This chapter also discusses the functions of nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication serves multiple purposes and helps clarify the meaning of verbal communication. Verbal and nonverbal communication, when combined, increase the likelihood of conveying accurate meaning to others. One without the other dilutes the effectiveness of each.

Finally, this chapter discusses the subcategories of nonverbal communication. The subcategories of nonverbal communication allow us to account for the multitude of cues sent between the sender and receiver. The human brain must account for cues resulting from eye contact, facial expressions, distance between sender and receiver, touch, sound, movement, and scent. Amazingly, the human brain processes all these cues quickly and with high accuracy.

Chapter Exercises

Real-World Case Study

Addie was assigned a roommate for her freshman year in college. Addie noticed her roommate made little eye contact, avoided touch, and didn’t smile very often. After a few weeks, Addie noticed her roommate looked at her more when talking and smiled when she entered the room. Meanwhile, Addie made friends in some of her classes and invited them to her room to study. Addie’s roommate didn’t look at anyone and didn’t smile. Addie’s friends complained that her roommate didn’t like them and that she was a little strange.

What information might Addie provide to her friends to give them insight into Addie’s behavior?

The roommate’s nonverbal behavior may have consequences for her in social settings. Is it her responsibility to adapt her nonverbal communication, or the responsibility of those around her to understand that she is simply different?

End-of-Chapter Assessment

1. If Mary stomps her foot while saying, “No, I won’t go with you.” Which function of nonverbal communication is she using?
   1. Complementing
   2. Accenting
   3. Repeating
   4. Contradicting
   5. Substituting
2. Ronnie says “ummm” frequently when speaking. This aspect of vocalics is referred to as _____.
   1. Pitch
   2. Rate
   3. Disfluency
   4. Disconnection
   5. Pause
3. Choose the best example of an emblem.
   1. Using two fingers in the shape of a V to sign “Peace”
   2. Shaking of the head to say no
   3. Pointing in the air while saying up
   4. Rubbing your stomach while saying yum
   5. Making a cradle with the arms when saying baby
4. What is the difference in the repeating function of nonverbal communication and the complementing function of nonverbal communication?
   1. Complementing nonverbal behavior can stand alone, whereas repeating cannot.
   2. Repeating nonverbal communication can stand alone, whereas complementing cannot.
   3. Repeating behaviors are more useful than complementing nonverbal communication.
   4. There is no difference between complementing and repeating nonverbal behavior.
   5. Repeating behaviors are more culturally appropriate in the United States
5. Which function of nonverbal communication is best represented when the nonverbal behavior is the opposite of verbal communication?
   1. Complementing
   2. Repeating
   3. Accenting
   4. Substituting
   5. Contradicting
6. _____ is the study of how use of space communicates.
   1. Haptics
   2. Oculesics
   3. Chronemics
   4. Proxemics
   5. Kinesics
7. _____ is the study of how touch communicates.
   1. Haptics
   2. Oculesics
   3. Chronemics
   4. Proxemics
   5. Kinesics
8. If Lacey is standing within 18 inches of her friend, she is standing in which of Hall’s distances?
   1. Personal
   2. Intimate
   3. Social
   4. Public
   5. Parallel